Without a doubt, Central Park is one of New York City’s go-to destinations for both tourists and locals. It’s the only place big enough in New York City to coexist with tourists. I mean you, can you really blame us for avoiding tourists like the plague when we’ve all had the traumatic experience of walking through Times Square? But Central Park is different- its literally a haven where everyone, tourists and locals, get along peacefully. And that’s something to say about Central Park.
Tune in below for our top 5 ways to do Central like a New Yorker, or a tourist. Remember, New York is always watching. The choice is yours.
1.) If you’re a tourist, we see you at the Loeb Boathouse.
If you’re a local, we’ll catch you boating at the lake.
We have to give you a pass for this one because although the Loeb Boathouse is always rife with tourists, it’s great food and great atmosphere. We can’t be seen in the same place as you so we’ll let you keep the restaurant and its gorgeous view of the lake where you’ll spot us rowing gracefully in our boats for your Instagram photos. Every time we pass the Loeb Boathouse, we take a second to stop our rigorous rowing and nod in the general direction of the restaurant allowing the tourist trap to stay, for now.
2.) If you’re a tourist, we see you taking pictures of all the squirrels.
If you’re a local, we’ll catch you doing morning jogs and dog walks.
While you’re whipping out your phones to Instagram the overly aggressive New York City squirrels, we’re whipping past you in our morning runs and dog walks. We know what the squirrels are like. They learned from the very best, which is obviously us. Did you see that squirrel belly flop into that guy’s lunch? You’ll only catch that brand of fearlessness in New York City.
3.) If you’re a tourist, we’ll see you at The Central Park Zoo
If you’re a local, we’ll catch you birdwatching.
Did you know there’s a zoo in Central Park? The truth is, most New Yorkers don’t event know it exists. Mostly because, who needs wildlife behind cages when you’ve got wildlife in front of you? We take Robert Frost’s advice taking the road less traveled by going birdwatching in the Rambles because we’re deep, intellectual, and like to impress our friends with our deep intellectual hobby of spotting all the 200 species of wild birds in the park. Bonus points if you can find your way through the Rambles in Central Parks, which we do instinctually because we’re born with the New York City gene of knowing our exact GPS coordinate at all times. And you wonder why we’re never lost.
4.) If you’re a tourist, we’ll see you at the MET.
If you’re a local, we’ll catch you at the jazz concerts and plays.
Now the MET is a great choice that even we’ll visit from time to time to culture ourselves before our next dinner party so we can impress our elite friends. But why stand in line for hours to donate a couple dollars to the MET when you get FREE culture through all the jazz concerts and annual summer plays set down in Central Park? That’s not to count the many saxophone players serenading you across park benches as you try to eat your lunch before another aggressive squirrel devours it.
5.) If you’re a tourist, we’ll see you getting lost with directions in front of you.
If you’re a local, we’ll catch you at the Sheep Meadows.
Let’s get this out in the open. Tourists ask New Yorkers for directions way too much. Stop losing yourselves and start finding yourselves, man. The lamp posts in Central Park are your answer to finding your way around. The first two numbers will tell you the street number and the last two numbers hint whether you’re on the East if they’re even, or you’re on the West if they’re odd. Either way, you’ll find New Yorkers easily at Sheep Meadows. Mostly because everyone we know ends up here(especially on a hot Summer day) and we can only take getting lost (on rare occasions) in Central Park so many times, before we give up and conform to the rest of the New Yorkers looking for temporary peace and solitude.