The Journey Of A Lifetime
The concept of life is coming together slowly but surely for me. With the clock ticking and the days passing, it’s hard not to notice that this thing called ‘life’ is moving along. It’s also a hard concept to grasp that ‘time is an illusion’. We’re hounded by the sound of the alarm clock every morning that we have to rise for work. “What time is it?” with the occasional “Oh shit! I’m late!” often leaves some of our mouths more often than most of us like to admit.
On the path to ‘self’ or ‘oneness’, to exit the frame of mind you’ve spent such a lifetime living and protecting is extremely challenging. You begin to feel like a ghost is constantly on your heels at every turn and every thought, constantly challenging you on who you used to be and consistently trying to tell you ‘you can’t get rid of me’-the haunting! Oh! The haunting!
You find yourself more conscious than ever. And, I’m not talking about ‘throw it in your face that I know more than you and you should feel ashamed that you don’t know as much as I do conscious’, I mean every thought, word and deed conscious. Weighing the weight of each ounce of yourself through each avenue of expression to ensure the manifestation is to your liking conscious. Making life just a phase in the journey of the eternal self. You’re truly in the world but not of it.
The ‘tug of war’ is constant and though at times there is peace, it only comes in moments when your work is constant. Constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly questioning, and constantly growing. You begin to feel limitless and only live for life’s orgasims, because you realize there’s just no better climax. I’m talking about the moments you want to bottle up and get drunk off of when you need it most-those are the moments I live for.
Through the scope of mundane life, it’s very easy to get lost. You place value on things that ultimately are supporting characters in a much bigger picture- a never ending kaleidascopic view-no view ever the same. The supporting characters, inanimate objects that you give power. And, while this may be a hard thing to grasp, it is only until you go through a series of situations that completely shake you loose spiritually and emotionally that you realize there’s just absolutely no way to intellectualize it. It’s a feeling that’s very hard to put into words. It’s a coded language that only spirits of the same tribe understand.
And, when you meet those spirits you feel like the scene out of ‘The Color Purple’ when Nettie and Ceelie meet again. Other encounters just don’t come close to that reunion and you crave for more of them. It’s the ‘Never Ending Story’, only it’s really your life. A short pit-stop in the earth realm being only a fragment of your unlimited potential that can’t be calculated.